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just ignore this

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1 just ignore this on Sun Jun 10, 2012 4:22 am

kitty

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My mother looks at me expectantly. I'm to give this speech a fifth time. I walk past the graves to the one she stands by. My sister, buried below. As my eyes fill, I deliver my speech... and for a fifth time every memory returns.

The bell rang, signalling recess.
I wait until I'm the last one in the room to leave. My right hand is in my pocket; I grasp the handle of my knife. I step into the freezing rain. As I walk towards the swing set, I see him. Kyle, the boy I've been in love with since the 2nd grade. Hand in hand with some girl I don't know. Today, I'm to turn ten years old. I look back to Kyle. He's kissing stranger girl. Whatever strings had been holding me to life seemed to rip. What's there to look forward to, anyway? Hell here at school, hell at home, hell in my past, and no doubt hell in my future. I reach for the knife again, clear my mind.


EDIT: don't read^ i just really wanted to get that out of my head



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2 Re: just ignore this on Mon Jun 11, 2012 11:53 pm

Soul Hawk

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Just let me rot. I can only cry and I can't laugh so what good am I? Why can’t I be happy for once…why do I even love you? Questions unanswered, I walk up to the stage. Everybody’s watching. mom, dad, brothers, cousins, aunts, uncles, friends, grandparents...They all applaud as I go up to the rope and tie it around my neck. How long will it take to find my way out? This is the only way out. I’m alone. That’s how it will always be. One more step. One step and I can end all these tears and all my suffering. I can’t hold on any longer. My will has broken. My spirit has dampened. I can’t be the one.

Same as kitty...wanted to get it out of my head. Please don't respond...



“I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.” - Janeane Garofalo
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